Poetry

Fun Nor Fair and other poems

By Christopher Barnes

 

Fun Nor Fair

Scorn’s a contrivance that ticks.

     “With an hour of free time,
      Three balls and these instructions”

The skittle-alley’s polonaise is sheeny as varnish
On bubblecars going crewless.

     “Juggling has been touted
      As a great stress reliever”

Air-pocket pay-scales would debt me an hour,
Rundling supplied by gears, bobbing,
The bus home – just…

     “Throw a ball
      In a gentle arc”

*

Celebrating 50 Years In Recruitment
Job Title: Assembly Operatives
Details: Assembly Experience Is Essential,
Preferably Within The Automotive Industry.
Pay Rate: £6.68 Per Hour.

(QUOTES: Juggling Poet)
Toe-Tag

A jack-be-nimble buzz
Unloaded to constabularies,
Solicits a docket rummage
To side-note any women’s garb
Bagged, shut in a month.

     “The application of medical knowledge
      To aid the administration of justice”

Divers loosen-up, releasing the undertow.

     “Legal responsibilities of the physician”

*

These Toilets Are Closed
Alternative Facilities Are Available
In The Grainger Market
Or High Friars Mall, Eldon Square.
Sorry For Any Inconvenience.

(QUOTES: Dr. Dinesh Rao’s Forensic Pathology)

 

Soup Kitchen

Mr. Flint rib-digged the divvies,
Personal belongings all huckstered.

     “Action on charity tax-avoidance”

Axes to grind, flapping.

     “Charitable status”

Volunteers keep bright-side up
So do frost-bitten glitterati.

     “Amend the definition of charity”

*

Diamonds
Exclusive 68 Faceted Luxury
Set In A Variety Of Gold Rings
An Original Gift
To Be Remembered By

(QUOTES: Andy Ricketts, The Third Sector)
Media Studies

Homework for Pat Wires’ thesis
Didn’t dim with the pounce of flu.

     “A Scottish philosopher and economist”

There’s a Johnny Everyman rubric,
Wedge-driving, infecting squiggle-inked notes.

     “One of the most influential books”

Yawning’s in-the-know.

     “Gold and silver”

Not a post-haste staircase
To the eximious job…

     “Nobody would trade
      If they expected to lose”

*
TV Bed Package
Includes 32” LED TV
Lowest Weekly Prices!
From £15.00 Per Week
Free Delivery
Within 5 Days

(QUOTES: Adam Smith Institute)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Christopher Barnes bio details…
In 1998 I won a Northern Arts writers award. In July 200 I read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology ‘Titles Are Bitches’. Christmas 2001 I debuted at Newcastle’s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of my poems. Each year I read for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and I partook in workshops. 2005 saw the publication of my collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.

On Saturday 16Th August 2003 I read at the Edinburgh Festival as a Per Verse poet at LGBT Centre, Broughton St.

I also have a BBC web-page http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/gay.2004/05/section_28.shtml and http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/videonation/stories/gay_history.shtml (if first site does not work click on SECTION 28 on second site.

Christmas 2001 The Northern Cultural Skills Partnership sponsored me to be mentored by Andy Croft in conjunction with New Writing North. I made a radio programme for Web FM community radio about my writing group. October-November 2005, I entered a poem/visual image into the art exhibition The Art Cafe Project, his piece Post-Mark was shown in Betty’s Newcastle. This event was sponsored by Pride On The Tyne. I made a digital film with artists Kate Sweeney and Julie Ballands at a film making workshop called Out Of The Picture which was shown at the festival party for Proudwords, it contains my poem The Old Heave-Ho. I worked on a collaborative art and literature project called How Gay Are Your Genes, facilitated by Lisa Mathews (poet) which exhibited at The Hatton Gallery, Newcastle University, including a film piece by the artist Predrag Pajdic in which I read my poem On Brenkley St. The event was funded by The Policy, Ethics and Life Sciences Research Institute, Bio-science Centre at Newcastle’s Centre for Life. I was involved in the Five Arts Cities poetry postcard event which exhibited at The Seven Stories children’s literature building. In May I had 2006 a solo art/poetry exhibition at The People’s Theatre why not take a look at their website http://ptag.org.uk/whats_on/gallery/recent_exhbitions.htm

The South Bank Centre in London recorded my poem “The Holiday I Never Had”, I can be heard reading it on http://www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/magazine/record.asp?id=18456

REVIEWS: I have written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine and in August 2007 I made a film called ‘A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot’ for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem…see http://www.myspace.com/queerbeatsfestival On September 4 2010, I read at the Callander Poetry Weekend hosted by Poetry Scotland. I have also written Art Criticism for Peel and Combustus Magazines. I was involved in The Creative Engagement In Research Programme Research Constellation exhibitions of writing and photography which showed in London (march 13 2012) and Edinburgh (july 4 2013) see
http://www.researchconstellation.co.uk/ . I co-edit the poetry magazine Interpoetry http://www.interpoetry.com/
.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

kristi42
Photo by Kristi Harms

 

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Poetry

Thumbs Down and other poems

by Christopher Barnes

Thumbs Down

A last debt’s also on the executioner’s skin.
The imprisoned stretch of paralyzed snapshot,
This would contort an abominable Xmas card.
Your chronic refuge,
Fooled by this Persil-white summoner.
 
Arteries are a burn, a whack.
No eyes startle the exposure time,
Denied is a predisposition to glimpse.
Watching itself.
 

 

Countdown


Electrode is to calf
As megapixel is to eye,
A painstaking transformer.
Purple-mould injuries bludgeon the head
          Always this demonstrative shot.
 
The footsteps of your legend
Is ruinous.  Fuse-blowing vital chunks,
Alternating current hurled hangmen
Into regenerated undertakings.
Crackle goes an extra life.
 
 

Brainer

 
This blanched anteroom’s irksome,
A shrine to Edison ’s trails
With cats and dogs.
Squishy seals, a queasy camera-lens.
 
Crabbedness of scalding muscle.
Water-salt that sopped electrodes
Is dust.  You have passed into a frame.
The body streams
As life empties.
 
By Christopher Barnes, UK
(from the Electric Chair poems)
 

Date


White Coats enlightened us.
Extremities give rise to energy
(A charged switch
Stung yours).
A botch, by tears.
Cut-short.  No lovebird deliberates
Your cage in its pupil.  His Nikon, winceless,
Impotent to unsettle
Your lost-sleep eyes.
Even-tempered,
Cadaverousness engrossed that thick head
Into a knockabout bruise.
 

*****************************************************************************

Some bio details…
In 1998 Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award.  In July 2000 he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology ‘Titles Are Bitches’.  Christmas 2001 hedebuted at Newcastle ’s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of his poems.  Each year he reads for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and partakes in workshops.  2005 saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.
On Saturday 16Th August 2003 he read at the Edinburgh Festival as a Per Verse poet at LGBT Centre, Broughton St .
He also has a BBC web-page www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/gay.2004/05/section_28.shtml and http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/videonation/stories/gay_history.shtml (if first site does not work click on SECTION 28 on second site.
Christmas 2001 The Northern Cultural Skills Partnership sponsored him to be mentored by Andy Croft in conjunction with New Writing North. He made a radio programme for Web FM community radio about his writing group.  October-November 2005, he entered a poem/visual image into the art exhibition The Art Cafe Project, his piece Post-Mark was shown in Betty’s Newcastle .  This event was sponsored by Pride On The Tyne.  He made a digital film with artists Kate Sweeney and Julie Ballands at a film making workshop called Out Of The Picture which was shown at the festival party for Proudwords, it contains his poem The Old Heave-Ho. He worked on a collaborative art and literature project called How Gay Are Your Genes, facilitated by Lisa Mathews (poet) which exhibited at The Hatton Gallery, Newcastle University , including a film piece by the artist Predrag Pajdic in which he read his poem On Brenkley St .  The event was funded by The Policy, Ethics and Life Sciences Research Institute, Bio-science Centre at Newcastle ’s Centre for Life.  He was involved in the Five Arts Cities poetry postcard event which exhibited at The Seven Stories children’s literature building.  In May 2006 he had a solo art/poetry exhibition at The People’s Theatre. why not take a look at their website http://ptag.org.uk/whats_on/gallery/recent_exhbitions.htm
The South Bank Centre in London recorded his poem “The Holiday I Never Had”; He can be heard reading it on www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/magazine/record.asp?id=18456
REVIEWS: He has written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine and in August 2007 I made a film called ‘A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot’ for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem…see www.myspace.com/queerbeatsfestival  On September 4 2010, he read at the Callander Poetry Weekend hosted by Poetry Scotland and has just had a piece of Art Criticism published in Peel Magazine.

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Poetry

Flowers for Moloch and other poems

by Christopher Barnes

 

Flowers for Moloch

The astonishing stuff was summer clouds,

Twirling a trice,

Touch-and-go, dispensed with, smashed.

 

But The Comforter of prevalent banks

Sabbaths through the ages,

Overdue for embezzlement

Or somersaulted in deluge

To a credulous pocket in ground.

 

 

Five Days In Iraq

 

1.  Prime mover – each passing manacle

Is persuaded by a skeleton.

 

2.  A deodorizing gust

Is the most hazardous incident.

 

3.  How burly’s the kleptocracy?

(A thoroughgoing miscreant ogle.)

 

4.  Scaffold, strappado vaults, CCTV…

I relic the scorpion.

 

5.  That self-stunt pay-off

In innermost contrivances of bossing

Has frantic strains

Between the wished-for and dread.

 

 

Love Song To A Riot

 

Forcing identity –

Man-made moppet with packthread, glass,

Hoist your utterance to the convict’s window.

 

More than a judge’s backlash,

Callous to control,

A screw in a uniform.

 

I’ll stockpile an incentive

To shatter something.

 

We’d see eye to eye,

What models in defiance must reshape.

 

 

Tinselly Talk

 

“Those of us supplementary

To the pecking order,

Shredding merriment

Infecting the salariat,

Loitering, acquiescent, beholden –

Shall nosedive into liberty,”

MCed the belt-and-braces clown

In a twinkling before being shot.

 

 

Keyhole Light

 

Poverty smacks us sick

In baffling gothic doorways.

Medics give ear to the pique of cells

Not absorbing the pitiful.

 

How much clock will you waste?

We’re laid bare to astounding jeopardy.

We have simply to unblock the door, flee.

 

 

The Twelfth Pair Of Hands

 

The unwary are scheduled to capsize.

Conglomerates are standard

On every short-lived impetus.

 

Here’s another skirmish,

A spurning of assembly lines.

You too are an issue

At the crush stone.

 

*****************************************************************************

 

Christopher Barnes in 1998 won a Northern Arts writers award. In July 2001 he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology ‘Titles Are Bitches’. Christmas 2001 I debuted at Newcastle’s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of his poems. Each year I read for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and partook in workshops. 2005 saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.

On Saturday 16th August 2003 he read at the Edinburgh Festival as a Per Verse poet at LGBT Centre, Broughton St.

He also has a BBC web-page www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/gay.2004/05/section_28.shtml and http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/videonation/stories/gay_history.shtml (If first site does not work click on SECTION 28 on second site.)

Christmas 2001, The Northern Cultural Skills Partnership, sponsored his mentorship by Andy Croft in conjunction with New Writing North. He made a radio programme for Web FM community radio about his writing group. October-November 2005, he entered a poem/visual image into the art exhibition The Art Cafe Project, his piece Post-Mark was shown in Betty’s Newcastle. This event was sponsored by Pride On The Tyne. He made a digital film with artists Kate Sweeney and Julie Ballands at a film making workshop called Out Of The Picture which was shown at the festival party for Proudwords, it contains his poem The Old Heave-Ho. He worked on a collaborative art and literature project called How Gay Are Your Genes, facilitated by Lisa Mathews (poet) which exhibited at The Hatton Gallery, Newcastle University, including a film piece by the artist Predrag Pajdic in which he read his poem On Brenkley St. The event was funded by The Policy, Ethics and Life Sciences Research Institute, Bio-science Centre at Newcastle’s Centre for Life. He was  involved in the Five Arts Cities poetry postcard event which exhibited at The Seven Stories children’s literature building. In May 2006 he had a solo art/poetry exhibition at The People’s Theatre. Their website is http://ptag.org.uk/whats_on/gallery/recent_exhbitions.htm

The South Bank Centre in London recorded his poem “The Holiday I Never Had”, he can be heard reading it on www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/magazine/record.asp?id=18456

REVIEWS: He has written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine and in August 2007 he made a film called ‘A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot’ for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem…see www.myspace.com/queerbeatsfestival On September 4 2010, he read at the Callander Poetry Weekend hosted by Poetry Scotland. He has also had art criticism published in Peel and Combustus magazines.

 

Art by Ernest Williamson

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Poetry

Filming ‘Blood Shot Silk’: 5 poems

by Christopher Barnes

Filming ‘Blood Shot Silk’ – Deleted Scene (24)

Location shooting…
Hand-weight camera, natural lighting
For haphazard stage villain
But the self-absorbed essence in-character
Fizzles, squeaks.

A bodega with a hum-a-long
Ringsiding the piano, think – door flung wide,
Roseland Prior snaps jaws
In a rooted mirror.

 

Filming ‘Blood Shot Silk’ – Deleted Scene (25)

For this scene…I’ll screen off vigour…
Grotto-altar overwhelmed with photos –
Some Goddess
In a beggarly peep-show lair.
Bend the eye to inspection…
The silkiest cloak, floating on a hook,
A downthrown shoulder,
Pill-box hat –
A highlighting of dead time.

 

Filming ‘Blood Shot Silk’ – Deleted Scene (26)

The crew contrive irredeemable waste.
Sound Technicians trumpet paranoia.
Decrepit lodgings with an unblessed complexion,
Leaves on outhouse concrete…
Camera 4 rail-runs through a window,
Up once-distinguished stairs.
Montgomery Clift disorientates a finger to lip.

Generous seconds of fade out.

 

Filming ‘Blood Shot Silk’ – Deleted Scene (27)

Vaporous, melancholic interior…
Decorous on edificial seat
Rosalind Prior refashions a diagonal turban.
Rocking-horse rhythms in her mock-modest speech.
She cuts the air’s throat
With a Hades-spiked fingertip.

Marcel Dean is awe-struck –
A cloak-and-dagger man
At the ash ends of legality.

Voiceover: ‘A time-serving bearing
For a misbegotten tale
Where a clubfooted brat
Drowns in a duck-bluster lake’.

 

Filming ‘Blood Shot Silk’ – Deleted Scene (28)

A string-section clambers its incidents.
Fustian trails at an unshut hatch.  Cut to…
Candle-light across a jade wall –
An exponential, mischief-making Star,
Crystalline lipstick, hurled-back hair.
We’re interned
Into the transitory
Where in a low-angled shot
An Actor fluffs his lines.

 

***********************************************************
In 1998 Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award.  In July 2000 he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology ‘Titles Are Bitches’.  Christmas 2001 he debuted at Newcastle ‘s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of his poems.  Each year he read for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and he partakes in workshops.  2005 saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.

On Saturday 16Th August 2003 he read at the Edinburgh Festival as a Per Verse poet at LGBT Centre, Broughton St .

He also has a BBC web-page http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/gay.2004/05/section_28.shtml and http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/videonation/stories/gay_history.shtml (if first site does not work click on SECTION 28 on second site.

Christmas 2001 The Northern Cultural Skills Partnership sponsored him to be mentored by Andy Croft in conjunction with New Writing North.  He  made a radio programme for Web FM community radio about his writing group.  October-November 2005, he entered a poem/visual image into the art exhibition The Art Cafe Project, his piece Post-Mark was shown in Betty’s Newcastle .  This event was sponsored by Pride On The Tyne.  He made a digital film with artists Kate Sweeney and Julie Ballands at a film making workshop called Out Of The Picture which was shown at the festival party for Proudwords, it contains his poem The Old Heave-Ho.  He worked on a collaborative art and literature project called How Gay Are Your Genes, facilitated by Lisa Mathews (poet) which exhibited at The Hatton Gallery, Newcastle University , including a film piece by the artist Predrag Pajdic in which he read my poem On Brenkley St .  The event was funded by The Policy, Ethics and Life Sciences Research Institute, Bio-science Centre at Newcastle ‘s Centre for Life.  He was involved in the Five Arts Cities poetry postcard event which exhibited at The Seven Stories children’s literature building.  In May he had a solo art/poetry exhibition at The People’s Theatre. Why not take a look at their website? http://ptag.org.uk/whats_on/gallery/recent_exhbitions.htm

The South Bank Centre in London recorded his poem “The Holiday I Never Had”, he can be heard reading it on http://www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/magazine/record.asp?id=18456

REVIEWS: He has written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine and in August 2007 he made a film called ‘A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot’ for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem…see http://www.myspace.com/queerbeatsfestival  On September 4 2010, he read at the Callander Poetry Weekend hosted by Poetry Scotland.  He has also written Art Criticism for Peel and Combustus Magazines.

 

Angie89

photo by Angela M Campbell

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Poetry

Colony and other poems

by Christopher Barnes

 

Colony

As the chorus threaten
Benevolent assault as just desserts
Unannounced, went AWOL.

Carted off in penal-ring bolts,
After heavy handed stints outfitted with stripes –
They also take a Mr Universe Most Wanted.
Gruffness, reprisals, knuckle-raps and duress,
Unforgotten across the rails.

Conscience-salving is blood sore vigilantism.

 

Anubis

Unleashed from a dell of juiceless bones,
We’ve let slip our mummified whelp.
The jackal-chinned transfigured one
Rocketed between the shady and celestial.
His carting away is never-endingness mourned.
A winding sheet groans in dead letters.

 

Fixed Grin

This picked-up frown’s hoi polloi pestiferous;
Eyebrows narrow the gap on gloom.
Dip-down lip wonks, crinkly brows –
Hanging in cheekular tendons
All disfiguring forlorn hope.

Task plastic surgeons
To fiddle with the scourge of plebeians.

 

Unwanted Guest

First-rounding a trend –
Tantrumming through these botched up nerves,
Passed to my inadmissible door,
This slippery slope.
A haemorrhages to Z
String-pulling the leverage of connections.
Hour X has sprung.

 

Bluebottle In Sunshine

She plays ball to the roll call as Dysentery Della.
Un-nested this rush hour…
A wayzgoose trim at her paunch,
Tinsel-mineralogical oil-slick.
You’ll be over-curious at midriff legs,
Crushed with wicked-ways bristle,
Squab club-footed antennae
Streaming wide horizons.
Erewhile neck-craned on picked bones
Razzling a dead rat boogie.
We’re wistful of those sorcerous-cherry eyes,
Misted wings,
But in truckloads…that buzz.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In 1998 Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award. In July 2000, he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology ‘Titles Are Bitches‘. Christmas 2001 he debuted at Newcastle’s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of his poems. Each year he reads for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and partakes in workshops. 2005 saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh.

On Saturday 16Th August 2003 he read at the Edinburgh Festival as a Per Verse poet at LGBT Centre, Broughton St.

He also has a BBC web-page http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/gay.2004/05/section_28.shtml and http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/videonation/stories/gay_history.shtml (if first site does not work click on SECTION 28 on second site.

Christmas 2001 The Northern Cultural Skills Partnership sponsored him to be mentored by Andy Croft in conjunction with New Writing North. He made a radio programme for Web FM community radio about his writing group. October-November 2005, he entered a poem/visual image into the art exhibition The Art Cafe Project, his piece Post-Mark was shown in Betty’s Newcastle. This event was sponsored by Pride On The Tyne. He made a digital film with artists Kate Sweeney and Julie Ballands at a film making workshop called Out Of The Picture which was shown at the festival party for Proudwords, it contains his poem The Old Heave-Ho. He  worked on a collaborative art and literature project called How Gay Are Your Genes, facilitated by Lisa Mathews (poet) which exhibited at The Hatton Gallery, Newcastle University, including a film piece by the artist Predrag Pajdic in which he read his poem On Brenkley St. The event was funded by The Policy, Ethics and Life Sciences Research Institute, Bio-science Centre at Newcastle’s Centre for Life. He was involved in the Five Arts Cities poetry postcard event which exhibited at The Seven Stories children’s literature building. In May he had 2006 a solo art/poetry exhibition at The People’s Theatre – why not take a look at their website http://ptag.org.uk/whats_on/gallery/recent_exhbitions.htm

The South Bank Centre in London recorded his poem “The Holiday I Never Had“; he can be heard reading it on http://www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/magazine/record.asp?id=18456

REVIEWS: He has written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine and in August 2007 he made a film called ‘A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot’ for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem…see http://www.myspace.com/queerbeatsfestival On September 4 2010, He read at the Callander Poetry Weekend hosted by Poetry Scotland. He has also written Art Criticism for Peel and Combustus Magazines.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

WBIFA_Question

Artist Nannette Guinto Amorado

Question

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