Poetry

Speed Dating and other poems

by Julia Ciesielska

 

Speed Dating

he tried to be cool
the best football coach we ever had
always there to listen
I can’t remember him trying to change subject
when conversation grew strained
unlike most adults
he was awesome
our scores made us visible nationwide
we were young enough to fall for his lies
one yes to many no’s was all he needed
if our parents on their fixed incomes
were not so damned exhausted
I reckon they would have noticed
statutory rapes on minors
nobody gave us power over our destiny
we just sat still
posture: hands together in front
listening to the head master who reminded us
about the championship starting next month
the pressure school puts on us
we felt like ex-dates who traded
scholarships for keeping things quiet
behind school building walls

 

Daddy

were you there
when I was born to mother concrete
somersaulted across ugly backyards ?
I don’t remember seeing you
padding around the kitchen in slippers
the toaster full of finger prints
does not remember you either
you were probably gone
so I clung to a feeling
that you might watch me closely

fists tightened white to the bone
exchanged school for curfew
you were probably at work
when my knives collection gradually grew
sharper than anxiety
these demonic weapons
notched scars on many backs

you were in the same room
when I had to sign a charge sheet
your face shrank to a dry cloth
almost gone into shame
I might just as well ask
who are you to be ashamed of me ?

 

Against

it is a tenth time
since I have overcooked pasta
to achieve a delicacy of own skin
in Masterchef they would not appreciate it –
aldente rules
imposed reality
thin as an ice during a thaw
makes me question the purpose of obedience
an odd move
and you are drowned in insipid

in the bathroom hairdryer switched on
in the kitchen blender
I might consider a kiss with a socket
to resurface

 

P. O. Box

his P.O. Box was
a perfect rectangle
for hiding
convenient to reach
he was dreaming
it is a silky uptown hotel
he can scarce afford
checked in often
arriving from a world
of fags and booze for petrol
smoke-screened spaghetti junctions
junk food coating his spirit
with a rejection film
each check-in was marked
by a repetitive desire to enter
the alternative
own keeper
free to design
his insulation absorbed sounds
glad to let go:
a newspaper’s bang each morning
tension condensing between lovers
silent language filling to the brim
midday check-out
used to betray
where the inner world ends
and the other begins
he paid with cash
as no one lives anywhere for free

 

Klepto

did I see it or only want to
something inside me lacked courage to die
my weakness filters adjectives
with particular emphasis on ‘un-‘
for instance untight

weakness forms a denial
a denial forms into an outbreak
where to become a rebel you can
by doing absolutely nothing
above what is needful
use by date bargains, reductions
take my fancy at just wrong moment
– floor staff
passing I raise one hand in greeting
two raised in surrender

 

Count to Three & Be Awake

our times are not as hard
as in previous generation
fighting for cause
yet more tough
have to acknowledge caring less
be exposed to what they sense

our times should stash complaints
inside phone booths
if people still use them to communicate
but nowadays booths could do
only as exhibits
easy on the eye tour attraction
otherwise you enter
to bury anger beneath other people’s song
alternatively to sew lips shut
each time feeling urged to say inappropriate things

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Julia Ciesielska since 2006 lives in Belfast, Northern Ireland, where she works as a Translator and a Business Support in Recruitment organization known for Oil & Gas world wide. She has studied English Literature at Master degree and made certificate in Practice Personnel/HR at Queens University, Belfast. Apart from various literary magazines publications, she appeared in Shalom Anthology (Crescent Writing Group in Belfast) published in March 2015. Julia’s interests, echoed in her poetry, include the feminist revision of life or naturalistic perception of daily routines. After attending workshops of creative writing, organized by Lyric Theatre in Belfast, she also got interest in writing plays. Inspired by pieces of Martin Lynch she is working on a project that is presenting with the eyes of polish minorities their observations of living abroad.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

jane12

Long Dream

(acrylic on panel)

Jane Gilday

Advertisement
Standard
Poetry

Colour Collection: Black and other poems

by Julia Ciesielska

 

Colour Collection: Black

 
he postponed his own funeral
to shag a random girl
hired a double
who rested for an hour or more
tricked everyone
when came back on his place
corpse remained silent
it is true to say
death is for free yet he paid for it with his own life
what is the point asking him any more questions
black bands mark
guests’ arms with the acknowledgement
of life well – lived
or life lived
they could not tell which one he led

 
Color Collection: Grey

 
girls heels must love
gravel’s talk
its dust
workman is carrying in the skin
in every furrow and crevice
he washes it off after 5 pm
as if it was a shame
that flows away from him
dirt questions its being
always like a grey irregular god
borrows words from the night’s vocabulary
smokes and coughs
cradling fatigue in one hand
and iPhone 6 in the other

 
Knock Out Game

 
I want to see
that crucifix of blank pupils
feels pain
craving your pardon
followed by a moment of your time
would be catching skyline
which stalks behind a breath
with chapped intentions
as though exhaling gospel code
I walk my fists on either side of your head
walk through you as a clear air
invincible
hearing footsteps rainstorm
gives few more seconds
to adjust prosthesis of a prayer on the shoulder
and run

The “knockout game” is one of many names given by American news media to assaults in which, purportedly, one or more assailants attempt to knock out an unsuspecting victim, often with a single sucker punch, all for the amusement of the attacker(s) and their accomplice(s). Serious injuries and even deaths have been attributed to the “knockout game”. Some news sources report that there has been an escalation of such attacks in late 2013, and in some cases the attacker has been charged with a hate crime, while some politicians have been seeking new targeted legislation specifically against it. Liberal analysts claim that their conservative counterparts falsely promote a view that the “knockout game” trend is real and conservative analysts claim that the liberal media does not report on it due to the racial implications it may have.

 

Don’t Let Your Fear Become a Profession

nowadays demands
being spread out like butter
go around so openly
machines of talk we are
beaten trolleys
squealing for proper conversation
park us outside the supermarket
for brands
to consume shallow personalities
and to fold over body as a plastic bag
with palpable precision they inform
there is a global insufficiency
is it just me spending overlong on what to save ?

 

Personality

 
that’s obvious I’m not after your looks
what you have inside
matters more
fascinating lungs shape
stomach filled with gastric acids
irregular heart beat in delicate ventricles

how could you say I am superficial?
repeat again
tinted gray livers look good on you
kidneys make you super curvy
so roll over and talk to me at last
this is not just a one – night stand

 

Pushing a Bill Worked Hard Across the Counter

 
people do not mock wherever I pass through
do not sneer at eastern european accent
with flattened vowels
hard pronouced ‘th’

yet I didn’t know they contribute
to their community
by committing the equivalent of a social rape
until heard them chant on a street
go back home Poles
I loath not where I’m from
do they try to make me?
their blessed crime
venial, mortal, original
goes around alive and well
in theory everyone is equal
here the code of conduct is a public bar
with men pissing out the good
for the bad outweighs all
especially after a sixth pint

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32686955
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-32816454
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32823133

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Julia

Julia Ciesielska since 2006 lives in Belfast, Northern Ireland, where she works as a Translator and a Business Support in Recruitment organization known for Oil & Gas world wide. She has studied English Literature at Master degree and made certificate in Practice Personnel/HR at Queens University, Belfast. Apart from various literary magazines publications, she appeared in Shalom Anthology (Crescent Writing Group in Belfast) published in March 2015. Julia’s interests, echoed in her poetry, include the feminist revision of life or naturalistic perception of daily routines. After attending workshops of creative writing, organized by Lyric Theatre in Belfast, she also got interest in writing plays. Inspired by pieces of Martin Lynch she is working on a project that is presenting with the eyes of polish minorities their observations of living abroad.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

jane17

art by Jane Gilday

Standard